Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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