oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
