why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
