Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
