I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
