you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
