Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
