no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
