this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
