i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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