i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
