I saw his package. It spoke to me.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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