The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
