i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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