end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
