look no pants
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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