Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I will be naked everywhere
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
