On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
