So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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