Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
