My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
