Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
