does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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