i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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