i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
