I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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