This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
