So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
