We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
this just has baby written all over it
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
