I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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