Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
