How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
