My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Randomize
