Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
