Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
