Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
