covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
