If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
