Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
