spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
