I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
