what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
No subtext here. People are naked.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
