Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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