we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
