cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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