I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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