so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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