I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
It's just like the Real World with babies
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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