Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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