Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
high people should be assigned attendants
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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