Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
