i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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