I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
it hurts more in the daytime
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
